The Passover Story in Memes

My family has an annual tradition of telling the story in a creative way so here it is, told through memes:

Fun fact! We don't actually know that's what the Pacific ocean looks like because we can't get imaging deep enough to actually check. This model is simply assuming the ocean floor is there due to projections based on the bits we can get to. And I think that's fun.

We’ve known what the floor of the pacific looks like for decades.

This is from a nat geo in 1969. We’ve done sonar imaging of the two deepest points in the Marianas Trench and sent multiple exploration vehicles into the trench. James Cameron has sent exploration vehicles into the marianas trench ffs. If we can explore the deepest trench in the pacific then we can get imaging of the rest of it.

Y’all really just get on tumblr dot com see a post and go “I think I will lie today.” don’t ya.

ALSO

The original image?

That's now what the Earth would look like without water.

That map up there has extreme vertical exaggeration added to it.

Now look at this diagram:

You see this? You see how smooth it is? You see how you can barely even see the continents?

Continental crust is upwards of 40km thick. You see the upper mantle/aesthenosphere? That's 660km. You think 40km is gonna look like ANYTHING compared to that?

It doesn't.

Yeah. The Earth is fucking big and continents and mountains are piddly and small compared to the diameter of the Earth.

The beef between night owls and early birds is so silly. We complete each other. Evolutionary-speaking, wouldn’t it be useful to have people naturally alert at dawn to watch for saber tooth tigers and people alert at midnight watching for like, wolves?? Keeping us safe with internal clocks set to random.

All times of the day are beautiful.

🥺 that's actually very sweet.

In other 2023 news, the mythical Hoop Snake is a real thing

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

Possible point to consider

when the human 2.0 patch rolls out i think people with uvulas should lay eggs rather than keeping them up in there

i can not stress the confidence when i paused and thought "I'm pretty sure uvula is the right part" and got it in one

i feel like im being pranked is it a uterus or an ovary or what what is happening in there

im tired y'all got conveyor belts and stuff in ya coochie ig

current note count: 82

don't you put that curse on me